Seventy-six trombones led the big parade
With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand.
They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuosos
The cream of ev'ry famous band.

Seventy-six trombones caught the morning sun
With a hundred and ten cornets right behind
There were more than a thousand reeds
Springing up like weeds
There were horns of ev'ry shape and kind.

There were copper bottom tympani in horse platoons
Thundering, thundering all along the way.
Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons,
Each bassoon having it's big, fat say.

There were fifty mounted cannon in the battery
Thundering, thundering louder than before
Clarinets of ev'ry size and trumpeters who'd improvise
A full octave higher than the score

Seventy-six trombones led the big parade
When the order to march rang out loud and clear
Leading off with a big bang bong on a chinese gong
By a big bang bonger at the rear.

Seventy six trombones hit the counterpoint
While a hundred and ten cornets played the air
Then I modestly took my place as the one and only bass
And I umpah'd up and down the square

Seventy six trombones hit the counterpoint
While a hundred and ten cornets played the air
Then I modestly took my place as the one and only bass
And I umpah'd, umpah'd, umpah'd
Up and down the square

